Tuesday, 30 May 2017

Tango... a personal review

So it's happened....

Tango...

It's been three years in the making. A real expression of love and hard work.

I have read various incarnations of the script but have seen the show twice now and each time have found different things that have moved me.

The first time was through the telling of our own stories. Even though I knew them, the way in which Joel (the playwright) had blended our reality with his own creations was seamless.

I was touched... we were touched.

I think most telling was how much we felt towards the character Jayden, our son in the play. When he is suddenly involved in the violence that occurs through no fault of his own we both became immediately protective of him.

But, as we are here to work, we have attended and taken part in numerous talks and it is these that have really shown the impact Tango has had on audiences here.

From the mother of two gay sons who had only ever dreamed of being a grandmother, to the same sex couple and their teenage son who were happy that families like ours were being given a platform to show they even exist. Same sex couples who now had a baby and were worried about the future, single parents who, through no fault of their own, found themselves being judged by their own society, even the adoptive child (now grown up) of Dutch parents who was now able to express his feelings as a child with a distinctively different background to his peers.

Also, the couple who told us they had never experienced discrimination for their same sex family and their child... but they put that down to their being of the same race and, as we shared, the waitresses initial curiosity was roused because our Caucasian son was sitting with his Chinese father. And finally, the Chinese mother who had a seemingly'white' child with her Caucasian husband and how, whenever she took her daughter anyplace new, the automatic reaction was that she was the 'helper'.

So many stories.

So much shared  love.

Tango has nearly sold out in its final week... I hope it is seen again and again...

It's a powerful story... not just because it is 'inspired' by this blog, but also because it shares the humanity of life, of love, of family....

If you haven't bought tickets yet... do...

It really is worth it!




Wednesday, 3 May 2017

The blogpost that began the story of 'Tango'

I had been asked to find the original blogpost that inspired the new play 'Tango' by Joel Tan, and after spending an hour or so trawling through my blog I found it... from Feb 2013.

Rather then expecting people to trawl through... here it is.

Enjoy!

Coming Home...

That's how it feels coming back to Singapore... Especially when we see our lovely friends. We have a lot of people to catch up with and started today with a friend I made on my first day working in Singapore back in 1999. She is now married, to another great friend, and have two adorable children, one of whom is in love with our son.... We shall ensure their betrothal by the end of the trip. More friends to meet tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow... Great fun!

After a lovely afternoon, in which we persuaded our friends to take our washing home with them (they have a maid!) we decided to do some shopping. KC needed summer pyjamas, as the onesie he brought with him is just too hot in evenings where the temperature does not fall below 25c. Papa also decided he needed a new T-shirt, so we went to a few stores and he finally found one he liked... And today he learned the lesson that all Caucasians learn very early on... Singapore does not cater for British 'physiques'! ( unless you are small and skinny, of course).

When we lived here Papa used to laugh when I came home after a days shopping in a state of depression. Here I was a large size ( even when I was skinny)... It was even more depressing when you walk into a shop and the assistants would scream 'no large sizes!' And usher you out of the door.... Being Caucasian in Asia stops being fun when clothes shopping... I'm sure it's even worse for the ladies!

To be honest, one thing I have noticed is that Singaporeans do seem to be getting bigger, obviously affluence does affect size as people eat out more and fast food outlets are now everywhere. But today, Papa understood my depression when shopping. He went into a local store (that also has branches in the UK). In the UK he is sized as a medium... Which is fine. But today he went into the same store to fine he was an XL! He was so shocked that he simply threw the clothes back and stormed out of the shop. I ran after him and reminded him that this was Singapore and therefore they were Asian sizes... He looked at me disparagingly, "Asian sizes... Asian sizes!" He repeated himself for dramatic effect before a drawn out pause... "I am bloody Asian!" Words failed me.... But inside I was smiling!

Later that evening we decided to go out for a quick dinner and as it was getting late we popped into a local Chinese restaurant chain. 'Good and cheap' as Papa puts it. All was going well until the waitress decided she needed to know more about our family. As I took TJ to the toilet I came back to find Paoa and the waitress having a 'heated' discussion in Chinese, with KC sitting there. The gist of it was that she wanted to know where the boys' mother was. When Pap told her they didn't have one she seemed confused and then asked if they were his children and if he had married an 'Ang moh' calmly, Papa had told her that the boys were adopted, by us... she didn't seem able to accept this and started to argue with Papa about same sex adoption and her belief that it was wrong. It was at this point that I came back. This seemed to make her angrier. As did my trying to calm everything down.

The waitress then threw the cutlery down and said she couldn't serve us. Her senior manager came over and Papa started to tell her what had happened. She then served us herself whilst the other waitress sat in the corner glaring at us. It didn't make for a comfortable evening out but at least the boys were unaware. We left quietly and I ensured we had a late night drink to calm everyone down... the boys had an ice cream... ice cream at 10pm in the heat of the tropical night is great fun!

Maybe Singapore isn't quite ready for a gay family just yet.