After Friday's rather emotional blog post regarding Lea and her relationship with his birth mother, which had a huge impact, thank you, today's post focuses mainly on TJ and his attitude to the big day...
Today is Mother's Day in the UK and this morning as I was getting the children their breakfast and beginning to prepare for Sunday day lunch (food is a big deal in our home) the lady on the television remarked that this morning most Mums should be watching her from the comfort of their beds with a cup of tea brought in by their loving children.
TJ came over and gave me a huge hug (which is quite unusual for him) and said, "We should have brought you a cup of tea and made your breakfast, you are like my Mum because you do everything a Mum would do.' Whilst I could question his gender stereotyping... Instead I simply smiled, both inside and out. For TJ this was a huge admission, that he needs anyone. Since he arrived he has been completely independent, but not in a positive way. He doesn't think he 'needs' anyone.., except Lea of course. In his mind grown ups are not to be trusted, especially grown ups who tell you they love you, after all they either hurt you or 'give you away' (for want of abetter phrase). Why should he trust anyone except Lea, after all only she has been with him through everything. Oddly enough I heard from the childrens last foster carer after Friday's blog post, she pointed out that as of this month the kids have lived with us longer than they have been anywhere else. So it was funny that TJ should suddenly be so loving at this time, maybe subconsciously he is aware that this is now his forever home....
Then this morning another friend posted on Facebook a picture TJ had drawn for Mothers Day. It was a picture of me.. Titled 'Dad'. And it simply read.. 'I love my Daddy.' For many 'normal' families those would be words they hear all the time and take for granted. For us, this was a huge step. TJ occasionally tells us he 'loves' us, usually when he wants something, but he would never tell other people about his feelings for us, so this is a massive step!
Today, Lea has still been very quiet and is keeping herself to herself, we are letting her deal with it in her own way but se knows we are here for her if she wants us... A mixed bag of emotions... Oh well, I'll just get on with Sunday lunch..... Just like Mother used to make!!!
Today is Mother's Day in the UK and this morning as I was getting the children their breakfast and beginning to prepare for Sunday day lunch (food is a big deal in our home) the lady on the television remarked that this morning most Mums should be watching her from the comfort of their beds with a cup of tea brought in by their loving children.
TJ came over and gave me a huge hug (which is quite unusual for him) and said, "We should have brought you a cup of tea and made your breakfast, you are like my Mum because you do everything a Mum would do.' Whilst I could question his gender stereotyping... Instead I simply smiled, both inside and out. For TJ this was a huge admission, that he needs anyone. Since he arrived he has been completely independent, but not in a positive way. He doesn't think he 'needs' anyone.., except Lea of course. In his mind grown ups are not to be trusted, especially grown ups who tell you they love you, after all they either hurt you or 'give you away' (for want of abetter phrase). Why should he trust anyone except Lea, after all only she has been with him through everything. Oddly enough I heard from the childrens last foster carer after Friday's blog post, she pointed out that as of this month the kids have lived with us longer than they have been anywhere else. So it was funny that TJ should suddenly be so loving at this time, maybe subconsciously he is aware that this is now his forever home....
Then this morning another friend posted on Facebook a picture TJ had drawn for Mothers Day. It was a picture of me.. Titled 'Dad'. And it simply read.. 'I love my Daddy.' For many 'normal' families those would be words they hear all the time and take for granted. For us, this was a huge step. TJ occasionally tells us he 'loves' us, usually when he wants something, but he would never tell other people about his feelings for us, so this is a massive step!
Today, Lea has still been very quiet and is keeping herself to herself, we are letting her deal with it in her own way but se knows we are here for her if she wants us... A mixed bag of emotions... Oh well, I'll just get on with Sunday lunch..... Just like Mother used to make!!!
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